Week 21: Understand Your Man

"Trekkers gain major bragging rights as they push over the Punta Unión pass (4760m), which appears from below at an angular notch in a seemingly unbroken rocky wall above.  The panoramas from both sides of the pass are captivating."

Errr... Maybe not...

Old old ruins

 However I will get back to this later. Our stay in Huaraz began with arriving at the bus station in the cold at 0530. We made a bee-line to the hostel in a heavily overpriced taxi and crashed out for a few hours. After a short kip I got up and breifly saw Andy and Kate - who I had previously met in Chachapoyas, and also saw the insane view from the terrace of our hostel. We spent the rest of the day recuperating after our bus journey, acclimatising to the altitude, and (what a surprise!) eating. Mainly fried egg sandwiches.

Probably eating

Jesus in the snow

  The following day we went to the oldest ruins I have seen yet. The site of Chavín is approximately a 3 hour drive away from Huaraz, and the temple was built between about 900 and 500 BC. It was pretty cool as we could even go inside some of the old tunnels, which were in amazing repair, and a great place for a photoshoot. On the way back over the pass it started snowing, which was so strange as we had been in the sun all day. In the evening Andy and Kate left to move on to their next destination as they had already been in Huaraz a while, so we stayed up playing cards in the evening before they left.

Peru's Next Top Model

The totem from Chavín

Obviously after our stressful day we needed another day off. I went to the supermarket and spent almost my whole daily budget on food. You can see my lovely collection in the picture below - can't believe I found diet coke, m&ms AND nutella. (I shouldn't have bought the nutella, because it started something that couldn't be stopped. Over the next 10 days or so I managed to eat... 4... or so... jars of nutella. Whoops!) To be able to justify the splurge on food I cooked dinner for the three of us that evening. We also decided it would eb a good idea to do a day trek in the area to acclimatise before going on the 4 day Santa Cruz trek, so we signed up to go to Laguna 69 the next day.

I should not be allowed to go food shopping unsupervised

It was an early start the next morning for the trek; after 2 hours we had a "half an hour stop" (read: one hour) for breakfast, where we played the classic game of "guess the nationality" before buying our entrance tickets, and driving on into the heart of the park. On the way we stopped at Laguna Llanganuco, which was an incredible colour set against the mountains, and surrounded by what would come to be called the "filo pastry" trees.

Laguna Llanganuco

  The walk started off through the valley which was quite pleasant, but it was the only bit that was pleasant. The next stage was a gentle zig-zag up the hill which was pretty doable, but the third and final part was an absolute killer. It was far too steep at far too high an altitude to be enjoyed. We had to stop every couple ofminutes to regain our breath and rest our legs, as I could feel every individual muscle screaming out for oxygen. I would like to say it was worth it when we reached the top, but I will say only that it was "atmospheric" (misty). All the same it had been a rewarding experience. The drive back was impressive as we left the valley.

A view of Peru's highest mountain

On Sunday we had a pre-emptive pancake day (also because I wanted to gorge on more nutella) and booked the Santa Cruz trek for the following day, which also included buying a ton of snacks from the market.

Yet again we had an early start for the trek, as we were picked up from the hostel at 0600, driven two blocks and then sat waiting in the van for over half an hour before we left. (Sorry why did I get up early again?) We were the first people in the van and waited as the rest of the group arrived. This comprised Elisabeth (we just kept on bumping into each other!) who was with two Germans, two Koreans (one of which - Marco - was a flipping ninja), two Americans (one of which had been on the Laguna 69 trek) and last but not least Steve from London, whose name I forgot a few blogs ago (and then I promptly told him I had done this).

Not at the top!

Finally at Laguna  69

The drive to Cashapampa at the beginning of the trek took a couple of hours, and on the way we stopped at a small village for breakfast, which nobody got, although Steve and Matt both splashed out on some moonshine (home brew spirits). Matt's was infused with dead fly. When we first met our guide Abel, we didn't know what we had let ourselves in for. His first speech was in the van and I naively, thought it was a good start, I clearly hadn't been listening properly as I didn't hear everything he said when others repeated it later. (At the end I am going to compile a list of my favourite quotes). Abel was a central feature to our trek, and none of us could really understand what he was about - hence the blog title.

The valley at the entrance to the park

Speech number 2 was at Cashapampa before we set off. I would like to say it was a speech but it was definitely more of a lecture. He said that clearly none of us had been trekking before, and that we all should have booked with the right company. As if everybody in Peru doesn't tell you that they are the right company and no, of course, they aren't outsourcing! Per-lease!

Anyhow we set off on a bit of a grumpy note but it fired my engines up for the trek to come. The next speech was about an hour in, we stopped for about half an hour while he talked about the "Black Pope" (if you know who or what this is please feel free to comment as we would all like to know exactl what he was going on about). However it wasn't all bad as on our next stop I asked him about condors and he proved to be very informative.

A rare moment of cheerfulness

The rest of the day I mostly spent walking ahead with Trey, one of the Americans, as we both had a bit of a stride on. For once "Peruvian Time" proved to be less than normal time, and we arrived at the camp so far ahead of time that we weren't actually sure it was our camp.

Obviously we had chicken and rice for dinner, although surprisingly it was the only time. Steve drank a bit much moonshine, as he had fallen over and hurt his back and it was needed to numb the pain a little. He doesn't remember it but he gave us a brilliant preview of his beatboxing skills.

The sun floods into the valley

The beautiful if cold lake

Tuesday was a day of very serious ups and downs. It began with a walk through the valley, which was gradually revealed by the sun rising above the surrounding mountains. Interestingly we reached a part of the valley where there had been a landslide in recent years - so recent that in the guidebooks the area was still described as lush and rich with wildlife. and it was almost like a desert. Part way through the valley we reached a large lake. You can guess what we did there - darn right we went swimming in it! Naturally I had forgotten my bikini so I don't think I need to say what I did - my knickers took all day to dry off. It was pretty chilly.



One of my favourite parts of the day was taking my shoes off and crossing a river 4 times, which it transpired we didn't need to cross even once, I especially liked that every time we crossed a part, abel told us we could put our shoes on as we wouldn't have to cross it again. After this escapade, and my shoe filling with water because I was too stubborn to take it off again, I had to have some quiet time where nobody was allowed to talk to me and I had an inner battle to stop myself from strangling our guide. It was the first time I have needed such quiet time since beginning my travels.

You can see the extremechange in the land from the landslide

The lake Steve threw his shoe into

After a lunch stop which I think everybody needed to calm down, we opted to do an extra leg and walk up to Quitacocha lake. It wasn't an easy walk and yet again we had to cross a stream (or did we?!) and unsurprisingly our guide was nowhere to be seen. On the way it was okay but on the way back across I slipped on a rock and ended up thigh deep in the stream. Needless to say I had a very full shoe but I managed to save my phone. The lake wasn't the most impressive I have seen - it looked sort of like one of the old quarry lakes in the lake district, only a bit more blue and with glaciers above it. Okay, still pretty spectacular. Abel told us there was a "more challenging way" to get to the lake, which Trey, Steve and Marco took. By "more challenging" I think he actually meant "perilous and not actually a way." Marco did some ninja moves to get across to our side, and Steve managed to throw his shoe in the lake. Email me if you want to see the video. After the descent some of us in the group were slowing down so the rest waited at the bottom. On the walk to the next campsite it started raining and everyone was feeling pretty miserable by then.

I put all of my clothes on and was still cold

When we finally reached the campsite, we were all frozen to the bone and hungry. Thankfully though we didn't have to set up the tents as we had the night before, as the donkey drivers had done it for us. After dinner we pretty much all headed straight to bed. I was completely freezing, as you can see I put on every single item of clothing I had. To top of the night's entertainment all of the cows in the surrounding area came to see our camp. Bryan, the other American,w as sharing a tent with Steve, and with all his shouting thankfully the majority of the cows gravitated towards them (and peed on their tent.)

At about 0300 we heard Bryan, Elisabeth and the Germans getting up, as they had decided to do the trek in 3 days, which turned out to be a bit of a shamble (not their fault) and a lot of hassle. They didn't depart until about 0500 and ended up just doing our 2 first day's trail in reverse. Also they magically didn't have to cross the river 4 times.

Getting my stride on

The rest of us got up at about 6 and began the ascent to Punta Uníon, as described beautifully by the Lonely Planet at the beginning of this blog post. I plugged my headphones in and just got my march on - for me it was the easiest way to get it done, although it was a serious struggle towards the top partially due to altitude.
 The descent was almost as difficult as it was really slippy on the way down. We eventually reached the campsite after the last "3km" (3km my arse - took as over an hour.), although Abel didn't bother waiting for the last people, even though it wasn't easy to get to the campsite.



Trey and I pitched our tent under a tree, and although that night it was a little bit warmer, I also got elbowed in the nose. Dinner was early but the best yet - spaghetti with veg, sardines and tuna.

Triumphant at the top

Now seems like the best moment to insert my list of favourite quotes from our guide, Abel, as it was that evening that he said my favourite yet.

"You guys know the Black Pope right?"
"You know how Machu Picchu was built? Telekenesis"
"It's your fault the sun isn't shining, you need to be more positive"
"You should have booked with the right company"
"I'm looking around, none of you guys have been trekking before"
"I know your personalities"
"Mountains are mountains"

 Us "Abel. Should we put our shoes on? Or is there another river to cross"
Abel "Yes put your shoes on. Only a little one."
*10 metres later and we have to cross the river again*

Just the two of us in the dinner tent:
Abel "Are you in love?"
Me "Errr... what?"
Abel "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Me "No"
Abel "Why not?" (Not too bad so far. I have had this "but why don't you have a boyfriend?" thing since I arrived in South America. Apparently "I just don't" is not a sufficient answer)
Me "Err... I don't know"
Abel "I'm sorry to say this... but do you like girls?"
Me "no"
*Awkward silence* --> I leave.
Maybe beacuse it's been a while since someone asked me if I bat for the other side.

Jump shot at the continental divide

The view from the top

Anyway that's the majority of the rubbish he said. Rant over. The last day was only 2.5 hours which seems particularly pointless to me but after the ascent we shared some beers at the top whilst we waited for the transport back to Huaraz. Which it transpired would take 6 hours. We took a winding stony bladder shaking mountain pass for 2.5 hours before we reached the continental divide again, where we had some awesome views and some of the boys climbed up a bit higher and had a snowball fight. We stopped at Laguna 69 to pick up some stragglers and then we had the best bus journey ever.


We hooked up two speakers to my phone and then blasted some brilliant music with some even better singing and in particular some incredible Michael Jackson noises. After two hours, a lot of MJ, some Dolly Parton, Bohemian Rhapsody, the full length version of I'd Do Anything For Love, some good synchronisity and some doubtful harmonising, my phone battery died. Much to the relief of the remaining 11 people on the bus, I expect.

Before we ate...

Once we were dropped off in Huaraz we all had a quick turn around in our hostels before meeting up again to go to a gringo restaurant called "Trivio" which reputedly did the best burgers in Peru. The Sword of Damocles was hanging over Steve's ehad here, as he had really built this up for us, despite never having eaten there. Thankfull for him, the burgers lived up to expectation. Everyone was umm-ing and ahh-ing over which extras to have with the burger, so I just ordered all the extras with mine.

During... (very happy bunny)

...and after! Defeated!

Best Valentine's breakfast

The following day the four of us - Steve had moved to the same hostel as Matt, Gemma and I - had a chill day which we thoroughly deserved after the trek - Matt cooked us poached eggs and I went to the supermarket for bacon.I think it was the best breakfast of my trip so far. We ate laods of popcorn and sat on the terrace chatting and chugging some rum and beer. In the evening we had some pasta and Trey came over, but had to leave early to catch his bus to Lima. One of us (I won't mention who) stayed up after everyone else having a disco on the terrace - I heard it was really fun.

A terrace with a view... those are mountains, not clouds in the background!

Our last day in Huaraz began with another amazing poached egg and bacon breakfast. In the morning we booked our bus tickets to Lima for that night and I spent the rest of the day catching up on my blog and other admin. In the evening we had the good fortune to pass a Bratwurst/Chorizo stall on the way to the Bus Station so had a bit of a feast before jumping on the bus to Lima.

Sunset over the city